How does one betray one’s soul?

I would have never thought about it, till I did!

I happened to read a few emails written to my daughter before she was born, and I wondered how these ideas occurred to me. As I kept thinking further, I realised that having such a question would mean that I couldn’t in any manner think myself capable of manifesting such ideas anymore.

How many of us believe that we can’t think ourselves capable of manifesting such ideas anymore? Do we believe that what we achieved in our 20s and 30s is impossible to replicate any further? It is not about the raw energy but the uniqueness of ideas, sharpness of execution, and most importantly, the unfailing belief in one’s vision of the future, which would incorporate the vision of personal life, professional career and society together!

I don’t know whether it is right to admit such a thing on a forum where I am connected with my boss, colleagues, team members, and clients, but that is precisely the point and beginning of getting corrupt and betraying one’s soul.

As I kept investigating, I realised a few things I thought best to share. By putting it out there may or may not help others, but it would surely help me to break the cycle explained below.

1. Sacrificing Individual Vision: You have a vision about work, home, personal, and profession, and each day, you get closer to making it happen. This was your 20s/30s, and then something happened, and the needle did not move in one part of your life. You work on it, wait for people to buy in, join your vision to make things happen, but instead, they all make sure that you can never move forward. As you continue striving and waiting, you never realise that, mentally, you have already given up. The belief in one’s own self keeps going down day by day

2. Conforming to Societal Norms: The byproduct of the above is that you stop questioning the ways of society and instead start following the norms and, over time, even start propagating them. You even use your wisdom to justify and say, ‘I am picking my battles wisely, and this is not something I want to lose my peace for. For someone who is not made to ever fit in starts accepting a mask that society has prepared for everyone

3. Compromising Core Principles: With conformance comes compromises. Moving from perfection to what is acceptable, from the innovation of ideas to the novelty of packaging, from detailed planning to focusing on what’s to be delivered today.

4. Prioritizing Popularity over Integrity: Before, you were naturally popular for the way you were! Popular for being Unique, Unstoppable, Unconventional, Tenacious, Ambitious, Maverick, Fearless, Visionary, Audacious, Iconoclastic, Unyielding and a lot more.

Now that one has lost some/most parts of the above, the desire to get the result of being popular remains. So, one starts prioritising popularity over integrity. This would mean all the communications would be geared towards gathering attention rather than making a contribution. In a guest session, one would ask questions to impress rather than quench curiosity. In a meeting, one would think of the rarest point to impress the boss and demonstrate out-of-the-box thinking (telling him, you did not think about this; see how smart I am) rather than focus on the critical point of impact.

5. Failing to Uphold Personal Convictions: As you continue living, you are no longer able to hold any personal convictions. The identity of one’s own self is lost. Every interaction and transaction is an act of survival. You have forgotten living!

You are sailing through each day and justifying to yourself that you are living in the moment with no worries of the past.

But my dear friend, if you sit down, you will realise that impeding the possibility of possibilities and betraying your soul. Corruption has penetrated deep within you, and you are able to breathe with freedom. This is where one should say RIP to oneself, UNLESS…

…You remember your past life; you question, introspect, identify the pattern, and decide to rejuvenate yourself to become Hoard Roark.

Thanks Ayn Rand. You and Wachowski have helped me so many times. Thank you again.

And of course, Richard Back and Paulo Coelho

Reminder to write!

I have been a big fan of writing.

Writing is my thing, whether my mind is overflowing with thoughts or when it’s neatly organized.

When my thoughts are tangled, it helps me declutter my mind, much like clearing the cache of a computer. The process of writing these thoughts onto paper serves as a sorting mechanism that reorganizes my internal files. It’s like tidying up a messy room, creating space for fresh ideas to flourish.

On the flip side, when my thoughts are crisp and well-organized, writing becomes a means to share my perspectives and help others find clarity. It’s a tool for conveying complex ideas in a comprehensible manner.

In essence, writing always helps—it doesn’t matter if you’re riding high on life or grappling with feelings of fear and guilt. Just write. It’s like opening a door to a room filled with hidden opportunities. Even undesirable thoughts can find solace in the written word. Write them down, examine them, and then, if you’d like, shred the paper to bits. This simple act can work wonders, providing a sense of closure and liberation.

You don’t have to write for others to read; write to cleanse your mind, to articulate your feelings, and to understand your thoughts. Writing is a form of self-expression that can help you discover new facets of yourself.

I had forgotten this mantra of mind. Thanks Sandeep Arora, for reminding me to write again!

So, take a moment today, pick up a pen, or tap away at your keyboard. Write. It will always help

Introspection

Few things that I have picked recently (and recurrently)

1. People learn when they learn
2. People don’t learn based on what you preach but based on what you practice
3. It is not your job to change to people

What is enlightening are the corollary of above

1. No one is duty bound to teach you anything
2. It is unlikely that you will learn anything based on people’s advice unless you see then practice the same
3. You will learn when there is no choice but to learn

if you agree with all of the above, then congratulations you are living an ordinary life like me. Its the best time to start the journey from ordinary to extraordinary. The rules would remain as the first set of points, but the corollaries can change.

1. Enrol people to your possibilities. This way you can hold them accountable for transformation in your life
2. Stop looking good and start being honest and authentic. Only then you would know of your shortcomings and take people’s advice seriously
3. Start exercising choice based on preference rather than reason. Do what you want to do because you want to do. Doing things because of whatever never gets you anywhere. Learn things because you want to learn things.  Note: Learning things to experience the joy of learning counts as reason and does not help. Learn like you have no choice when you choose to rather than when you have to, as stated in the corollary.

 

 

Antakshari!

A cousin of mine started blogging which reminded me of my own days when I used to write. I had to share the link with her which got me back to reading some of the things that I wrote and I can’t believe this could have been me!

I wonder how could I be so honest, simple and transparent about the various things that I wrote, which reminds me that I started I promised to write only for my own self. I guess this helps take away all the pretence & apprehension and provides the freedom to be oneself.

So dance like no one is watching, write like no one is reading types
And I hope this could have got extended in corporate life wherein we would say
Work like no one is evaluating…
It’s the evaluations which brings corruption… the greater the degree of evaluation, the higher is the degree of pretence. The amount of energy it takes to pretend, exhausts you completely leaving little time/scope to contribute meaningfully.

So am I putting an argument that new organisation should do away with the evaluation process? Wouldn’t that lead to greater corruption where people will do what they like without meaningfully contributing to organisation goals?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer. What I know is the story of pancake seller who used to come to the office, leave the pancake box near pantry along with ‘pay on your own’ box. End of the day almost 90% of pancakes sold would be paid for. The 10% loss was able to allow him additional time to supply pancakes in 6 nearby offices using the same format. So his profits went down, but the revenue went up by more than 5 times. The larger point being, people and honest without being compelled to being one. They look for ways to cheat when are compelled to be honest.

With this have we cracked the recipe of why startups work so well? Unstructured environment! Everyone does everything! Roles don’t restrict people’s contribution! Limited supervision and you are expected to figure out solutions on your own! Trusting Bosses!

So?
Nothing
Happy writing!

Sorry… yeah so.. this has implication across parenting, education as well works environment. A lot of things can change only if we are little more trusting of people. Let’s just give everyone a chance and most importantly let me know of the same. They would do wonders for sure.

Cheers

A naughty smile!

Any seat preference? She asked.

Next to a beautiful lady who can share lovely stories, I replied.

She hadn’t looked up all this while, doing the routine procedures of check-in. Immediately after I shared my preference she looked up straight in my eyes with a gaze of a person making up her mind… street side loafer or smart executive who engages in occasionally flirting. Within a second she snapped back with a smart reply, why don’t you sit next to me here and I would share stories of nagging passengers and keep you engrossed all day.

Wow what a reply, I thought..

Sure why not I replied. A coffee along with conversation would be nice. I am back in the city next Wednesday. How about Thursday evening?

She did not look up again. Simply handed me my boarding pass. As I stepped out and she signalled for the next passenger to come in, I did notice she was wearing naughty and cunning smile.

I kept wondering what was that! and kept moving towards security check gates. Physically I was moving forward but my mind was still left behind. I cleared the security gates but kept thinking, should I have behaved differently? Do I go back and talk to her and ask why was she smiling like that? I really wished I could have, but airport rules don’t allow passengers to go back to check-in counters once you clear security. It was almost time for boarding and I proceeded to the aero bridge. Got into the aircraft and the air-hostess helped me with my seat. She offered to take my coat and I obliged. She requested for my boarding pass to be placed in the pocket of my jacket for easy identification. I took out my boarding pass and was shocked with the observation. Took the coat back and went back to my seat….

lini …

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Oh God.. The other half of the boarding pass is with the check-in crew. She had scribbled her name and number and I let it all go…The naughty smile kept flashing in front my eyes and I kept cursing myself all along…

A year later..

Any seat preference Sir? I looked at my companion and smiled. I am travelling with my wife. Give her window and I will take the middle seat!

As I said this, my companion wore the same naughty smile. 🙂

Curiosity Kills the CAT… Lack of it kills Humans

Why do we ask questions?

Because man is curious by nature!

Why is man curious by nature?

because he wants to know things

Why does he want to know things?

because man thinks, he can use all the information he gathers for his well being

So does it mean, only an optimistic man (who thinks things can get better) would ask questions?

Yeah, you can so say so

so a pessimistic man never ask questions?

actually on second thoughts, that wont be true… an optimistic man would ask questions to make things better, while a pessimistic man will ask questions to avoid things from getting worse

So does it mean, only a man who wants to change things would ask questions?

yes you can say so

so if a man does not want to change things, he wont have questions?

gain on second thoughts… a man who craves for things to remain same, would ask questions to ensure change can be avoided

so does it mean, all men are in have quest to fulfill their curiosity?

yes you can say so

but yet all men are not curious. many take things as they are. they dont question, they just take orders

yes… you are right… and these are man who are neither optimistic or pessimist, they neither seek change nor seek constancy.

So if man is curious by nature, are these people even classified as humans?

Getting things done

This post is more of compilation of a few readings I did across the internet.

We are all champions at multitasking… at any given point in time during work hours, I would be reviewing a presentation, listening to audiobook/youtube video, chatting on sms and at same time making personal notes for life… This aint unique to me, I know people who would more things added to list being done simultaneously.

The cost of this surely paid in the long run, when start disproportionately paying more attention to things which are least important to an extent that none of important work gets done. With time the situation becomes so bad that you continue multitasking but only the non important activities. No actual work gets done yet all the time gets spent. You realise this at the end of day and you decide to do the work next day. Not surprisingly the same cycle repeats.

Welcome to the world of Procrastination.

I believe the only way to remain immune to the disease is go back to the old ways of working. Focus on one thing at a time. Progress slowly and steady and get things done. Set your priorities right. Allocate time for liesure too.

All the above tips and more are known to us and they dont help.  So here’s a more definitive action oriented method to kill procrastination. The key numbers to remain are

2, 5, 11, 15, 20

David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, suggests that if a task you need to complete will take two minutes or less, just do it now! This “Two-Minute Rule” will keep small, onerous tasks from clogging your to-do list.

When you’re frustrated with a difficult project at work or home, use the “Five-Minute Rule.” To stop procrastinating and get yourself going, tell yourself: “I will just work for five minutes on this project. Then, if I want, I can stop.” To use this rule to cultivate persistence, tell yourself, “I’ll just keep at this project for five minutes more. Then, if I want, I’ll stop.” You may decide to keep going, but even if you don’t, you’ll be five minutes closer to done. This wonderful idea comes from MJ Ryan, author of This Year I Will.

If you dislike exercise but still want to live longer, what is the least amount of brisk walking or moderate exercise you can do each day and still get a longevity benefit? The answer, based on extensive research by epidemiologist I-Min Lee of Harvard Medical School, is the Eleven minutes rule. People who exercised for 11 minutes per day added 1.8 years to their life, compared with non-exercisers.

Are you yearning for a second helping of that devilish chocolate dessert? Are you tempted to pick up a third drink despite a vow of moderation? Is your craving for a cigarette almost too much to bear? If you’ve ever had intense cravings, just remember the Fifteen Minute rule. Tell yourself you would do that after 15 minutes. According to research on cravings, most cravings last a surprisingly brief amount of time—about 15 minutes and then they go away.

You are trying hard to solve a problem, but the answer eludes you. So stop. Really! Relax. Follow the Twenty minute rule. Take a break, up to 20 minutes long, and do something totally different—walk, nap, knit, or talk to a friend. When you return to the task, a miracle will have occurred: The answer was there all along! This brain change helps you relax and shift into a different, more creative mode of thinking—and then the answer “magically” appears.

The five numbers of 2. 5. 11. 15 and 20 wont just help you overcome Procrastination but also live a better life…

Neo or the One?

I have this ritual of watching the complete matrix trilogy once every year. I find it very refreshing and inspiring to watch each of the scenes and decipher newer meanings which I had missed earlier.

Every time I share about my annual routine, I get asked with amusement, why every year? What does matrix teach you? What have you learnt till date?

I take this opportunity to answer those questions.

“What is the matrix?” The Matrix is a sophisticated system designed to control you.

The first and foremost thing which I love about matrix, is that encourages you to question everything. Even the core foundation of one’s existence. A lot of things that we do is either being taught or being learnt by observation. And what if all of this could be wrong? In the movie, Neo starts to question the idea of free will and choice. That’s what we need to really think about.

“Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.”

“To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.”

We all have a life which is very similar to each other. The questions of career, compatibility and well being might manifest in different manner, but still core of the problem remains the same. There are very very few of us who become billionaires or have content lives. That’s because only those few questioned every aspect of what was given to them, and defied the set customs and traditions.

“Remember…all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”

“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”

Some of these enlightened people have been kind enough to even share these secrets with the lesser mortals, but we are so strongly driven by our set ideas, that we don’t pay attention to any of them. So when Warren Buffett, says do your fundamental research, stay invested for long, don’t invest on things that you don’t understand and yet we have a state of affairs where bitcoin gets traded at 25k per coin and so many losing money every day on the gamble. Similarly, when Paulo Coelho says, believe and universe will grant, we would still end up at the temple to pray for rain without umbrellas.

“There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

“You need to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.”

Vishen from mindvalley talks about goals and explains further that there are two kinds of them viz. Means goals and End goals. End goals are the ones which is what we all seek, happiness, travel, education, feeling of being loved, adventure & contribution, and so on. However, we have been taught that the End goals can be reached only through the Means goals (hence the name) Means goals such as Degrees, High paying job, increments, marriage, working with NGO and so on. Can there be ways, where we can hop, skip and jump straight to end goals?

Do we even know what our End Goals are? Or are we just replicating someone else’s Means goals, because that’s what made them reach their End goals?

“Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”

“…realize the truth…There is no spoon.”

We continue to put more than 60 hours of work each week, showering near and dear ones with gifts, spend a lot of money at lavish dinners and yet the feeling of content eludes us. We go for holidays and come back even more exhausted with the fear of resuming work. It’s high time to question everything we do. It’s high time we stop worrying about customs and traditions and think beyond. It’s high time to stop chasing the Means goals and start making list of End goals…

After all

“[Neo] What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets? [Morpheus] No Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.”

“…I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.”

15th August

I know I know you have heard the prime minister

I know you already read a dozen on articles on Independence day..
and here I am, boring you with another one..

As usual, more than a point of a view, I just have a series of questions…

What are we celebrating? Independence?

Isnt Independence opposite of dependence?
Are we free from all dependence?
As a nation on foreign money? FDI and FII
As a state on the central government?
As a society on all utility supplies?
As a family on neighbours and other families?
As individuals on relatives and friends?

Yes we are! Then what independence are we talking about?
And on the contrary isn’t dependence a progressive sign of social living?
so what is that we celebrate?
Surely not independence..

May be what we are celebrating is Freedom (not independence)
right… thats why they were called freedom fighters not independence/independent fighters

okay Freedom it is
Freedom from what?
the most basic form of freedom is
Freedom of expression… the freedom to say what we feel
ha ha..
if that truly is a interpretation of freedom, we surely not free
Like even right now, each of you have a feeling.. like it.. dislike it.. hate it..
would you dare express it by way of comments? only a select few would..
what does that mean of the rest?
are they not free?
yes they are.. then why would they not comment?
You would say… the choice of not commenting..

wait
so if you are made to shut up.. that’s loss of freedom
but given the choice to speak, anyways you will shut up..
so whats the point?

my mom used to do something similar..
whenever she took me to market, I would insist I would want this toy and that game.. this chocolate and that toffee
she would have hard time handling a stubborn child like me..
soon she realised after buying toys/games/chocolates/toffees I just stocked them home… did not play/eat them..
All of my belongings would be used as gifts when I attended other kids birthday parties..
My mom used this well… next time onewards, when we went to market, she gave me the freedom to buy whatever I liked, knowing fully well that I wont use those stuff… and that those could be used as gifts in future..
By giving me the freedom, she got me imprisoned around my gifts

I know the analogy does not fit perfectly, but I guess you get the point.
when man is given choice, he/she seldom exercises it meaningfully…

there are other forms of freedom too
freedom of studying subject of choice..
freedom of pursuing occupation of choice..
freedom of choosing ones on life partner..
freedom of choosing the place of residence..
and more
but most of these choices existed even pre 1947…
so there is little significance of 15th August on all of above

The English ruled us, purely for reasons of economics..
this was a country rich in resources, wealth and talent..
when they left they look away lot of resources (stories of ships filled with gold bars are common)
but the worst that they did was to have us trained on how to ruin the intellectual talent based on the education system they left behind..

what is that freedom that we are celebrating, I really wonder?

Inspiration

So the last we read was, start writing to get better… The question we were left is, write about what? There is nothing interesting happening in my life… I dont even go for holidays often… what do I write? Nothing inspires me!

The answer is simple… Write about things that don’t inspire you…

Write about how boring your travel is… the poor state of roads, the rudeness of auto/taxi drivers, the morning peak hour rush in trains and so on

Write about how monotonous your work life has become, the nagging of the boss, the inefficiency of your team members, the politics played by your colleagues

Write about how boring your city is, the holidays that your friends have gone to, holidays you would go for in future…

So you see, there is so much to write…

and if you are going to write… you might as write about none of above and focus on some of good things in life..

take a minute to think of inverse of all of above, and there you would have it… things that would inspire you..

FYI – I am doing the same thing… stuck with ‘nothing to write’.. I am writing about ‘what to write’

Will this inspire any of you to write?

May be or may be done… it does not matter

what matters is, my distillation process has started

and I now know what I am going to write next… actually not, just claiming it makes me happy 🙂